Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Now you know what happened to that old friend you haven't seen in 10 years, but suddenly calls and wants to drive 500 miles and come share a "business opportunity" with you. Beware! They're everywhere.
A report from the Alien Watch Network
UFOlogists claim they foiled the recent abduction attempt after being tipped off that an unwitting subject was being lured to an alien abduction point, cleverly disguised as a "private business meeting" at a local hotel. The aliens' modus operandi is to lure victims to their doom by inviting them to a "private business meeting" to explore what they call "the best business opportunity in the world." (Their claims are definately out of this world!) The UFOlogists, who have since infiltrated the alien network, claim that this secret invasion by aliens has been ongoing since 1959, the same year of a rumored UFO landing near Ada, Michigan. Millions of unsuspecting victims worldwide have fallen to this nefarious plot, while the "pod people" made in their image carry out the alien master plan of destroying the entire human race.
Remaining humans on the planet are cautioned to steer clear of "people" approaching them about a "really great business opportunity", or attending a "private business meeting" at a local hotel, or somebody's home. Fortunately, "pod people" exhibit predictive behavior, and are thus easy to avoid. Beware of people who mindlessly consume overpriced products believing they will be rich someday, and are obsessed with imitating their "upline" aliens, showing the "master plan", listening to alien programming tapes, and getting you to attend a "private business meeting". Also, they are known to have really bad breath, and are thus seen constantly spraying breath spray into their mouths (especially right before "contacting" someone). If for some reason a person ever finds his/herself at a "private business meeting" at a hotel and notices the room full of "people" in business suits spraying breath spray into their mouths, and ushering guests to the front of the room, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
This message is a public service of the Alien Watch Network.